If there’s one thing I hate more than constant political ads, it’s hot weather when it’s not supposed to be hot. I am the opposite of my boss, John McLoone, when it comes to …
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If there’s one thing I hate more than constant political ads, it’s hot weather when it’s not supposed to be hot. I am the opposite of my boss, John McLoone, when it comes to weather. I love snow and winter and cold. I enjoy breathing the frosty air deep into my lungs. These days I can’t take a deep breath outside for fear of inhaling a box elder bug or Asian beetle. In fact, I may have eaten one on my breakfast toast this morning.
I can’t even get a good night’s sleep for fear that my body will be taken over by Asian beetles. I awoke one night to feel them pinging off me like I was their human trampoline. I made the fatal mistake of turning on my bedside lamp. I gulped. There were hundreds of them gathering in the corners next to the ceiling. For some reason they love our bedroom but no other room in the house.
My husband sucked them up with the shop vac the next day, but by nightfall, it looked like the army had returned, marching resolutely to the bedroom corners. Every so often one takes flight and dive bombs my head – or my coffee. That is the last straw. No one messes with my coffee.
When we had frost last week, I rejoiced. Finally! The evil little buggers will go away to hibernate wherever they slumber with the advent of cold weather. As long as it’s not near me, I don’t care where they go. I am not afraid of bugs – I squash my own spiders with joy. But I am only one person and there are thousands of beetles. It’s the end of October – can we please be done with summer already? But no, it returned this week.
It's no fun trying to revel in my pumpkin-spice bliss when it’s 80 degrees out. I want to wear fuzzy flannel, burrow in blankets and see my breath as I stroll through crunchy leaves. I do not want to stack cords of firewood when it feels like June. I don’t want my pumpkins to feel like plushy toys. The weather people say it’s going to get cold, but I don’t believe them. We’ll probably be wearing T-shirts while deer hunting.
I am not one of those people who will spend my winters in Arizona or Florida. I despise the heat and I adore having four real seasons. Plus, the weird bugs and creatures are bigger down South. I can deal with a few thousand Asian beetles over scorpions, mosquitos the size of flying saucers or alligators.
Believe it or not, Thanksgiving is soon approaching (not the 4th of July) and it’s almost time for us to publish the Journal Jingle again. Start digging out your favorite family recipes, because we’re going to print them in our special section just in time for the holidays. You can mail them to me at PO Box 4, Prescott WI 54021 or email them to sarah@piercecountyjournal.news Let’s see how many we can get! I would love to hear from as many of you as possible.
Happy Fall, recipe hunting and Asian beetle battling!