Sarah Nigbor

I am back! We officially survived a 3,300-mile road trip with four teenagers to the southern-most tip of Louisiana and back. We returned just in time to jump into the chaos of Pierce County Fair week, where I was delighted to chat with many of our readers. Thank you to everyone who approached me; it was great to see you! And if I scooted past you with a glazed look on my face, please don’t be offended. I was probably trying to remember where I was supposed to be next.

It’s hard to believe our 10-day epic road trip is over, but when I think back to all we saw and did, I’m astounded. Here’s an overview of what we did:

Day 1: Drove down the Wisconsin River Road to Dubuque, Iowa, where we rode the Fenelon Place Elevator cable car. The “world’s steepest, shortest scenic railway” is 296 feet in length, taking passengers 189 feet up a bluff for a gorgeous view of downtown Dubuque, the Mississippi River and three states.

From there, we drove through a terrifying thunderstorm into northern Illinois to a cabin on the Mississippi River near Niota. Our route took us on a bumpy gravel road for five miles atop a levee deep into the woods. With the lightning slashing all around and the rain pelting the windshield, it felt a bit like a Stephen King novel. It felt even more so once we got inside the cabin. The Vrbo description had definitely shown old photos from when the place was still nice, because it was a dump. The air conditioning barely worked and as it chugged, condensation dripped on the bed. When I touched a kitchen cabinet, it literally fell off its hinges. A meat cleaver fell out of a faceless drawer, and we almost were in a horror novel, but it missed my foot. A chair collapsed when my son sat in it and my daughter almost flew off the deck, which was covered in slime. The swimming beach was littered with broken glass and cans. The advertised fire ring was ringed with rusty, broken folding chairs. As we do, we made light of our situation and chalked it up to a fun story.

The next day the rain wasn’t letting up as we drove into Nauvoo National Historic District, which was the Mormon headquarters for seven years in the 1800s until neighboring communities drove the Mormons out to Utah. The site contains 1,100 acres of restored homes and shops, including that of Brigham Young, and the Nauvoo temple.

Our next stop took us into Missouri, where my husband was delighted to find deep-fried gizzards and chicken livers for sale at a gas station. Each kid bravely tried them, but the rubbery texture was too much for us. Shane had them all to himself.

The rain finally let up in Hannibal, Mo., home of Samuel Clemens, aka Mark Twain. I was horrified that none of my children have read “Tom Sawyer” or “Huckleberry Finn,” so they had no idea who Mark Twain was. No wonder my comments about whitewashing fences always fall on deaf ears. After I recovered from this travesty, we popped into a general store featuring old-fashioned candy. Even I, the hater of all candy, enjoyed the dill pickle taffy. However, the ketchup-flavored soda was not a hit. In fact, thinking of it makes me gag. Some flavors should not exist.

Our next stop was the Gateway Arch in St. Louis. The temperature soared over 100 degrees while we were there. We saw a couple men rolling around in the fountain out front and I was tempted to join them. However, that would have embarrassed the kids to no end, so I refrained. I settled on enjoying the AC inside the museum, where I learned Finnish architect Eero Saarinen designed the 630-foot steel arch during a nationwide competition in 1947-48 to honor the spirit of the western pioneers. My grandpa’s name was Ero, and I’m half Finnish, so I made sure to remind Shane that Finns are resourceful people.

Next week, the road trip continues. I’ll tell you how we survived going airborne in my car, a lightning storm on the bayou and more.