Sarah Nigbor

My mother’s best friend Kam was like a second mother to me growing up – or maybe more like a fun aunt. Some of my earliest memories are from her house on Fourth Street in River Falls, where she lived with her dad. I learned later that Gov. Warren P. Knowles had grown up in that house, though I didn’t understand the historical significance until I was older.

Kam and Papa John would babysit me sometimes when my mom was at work or off on an errand. I loved going to Kam’s house because not only did she have the cutest kitty named Tuki, but she let me play with her makeup when I woke up from my nap. I remember waking up with the sunlight winking through the leaded glass windows and dancing across the quilt as I leapt from the bed, eager to do our “beauty routine.”

Kam was a firm believer in the power of Oil of Olay. Each day, she took a long bath in the afternoon, then moisturized her face with Oil of Olay before carefully applying her makeup. She often met her friends, including my mom, for coffee each afternoon at South Fork Café. If I was staying with Kam, she helped me moisturize my little face and let me help apply her makeup while looking in the big antique mirror. Kam always had beautiful, flawless skin, which she credited to her beauty routine.

She also told all my friends when I was older, much to my horror, how much I loved to clean her toilet when I visited. I guess I asked her if I could clean it every time I came over. I’m assuming I just wanted an excuse to splash the water around. Or maybe I was a baby clean freak. At my bridal shower, she even gave me a toilet brush set and of course told the story to all my friends at the party.

When Kam married her husband Jim, he became part of our family right away too. They moved to a little house on Falls Street and soon made that their home. Jim always keeps us on our toes and the comebacks have to be quick. When my friends and I would visit, we would be ushered into the sunporch to indulge in coffee or beer and a cigarette or two while talking about anything and everything in life: Politics, family, school, relationships, all the good and bad and everything in between. Sometimes we got advice we didn’t solicit, but I always knew Kam was one of my biggest fans and supporters. And she asked me every time she saw me, “Did you lose weight?” What a wonderful woman!

As I write this, Kam is in hospice care with a rapid form of dementia. She doesn’t have long left with us and I don’t know how to wrap my head around losing this amazing woman. Even though I don’t get to see her nearly as much as I’d like, I always felt better knowing she was there. We got the news not long ago and it hit us between the eyes like a bowling ball, especially my mom. They’ve been friends since college – more than 50 years. I just hope she knows how much I love her. Not having a lot of biological family growing up, sometimes your friends become your family. And that is definitely the case with the beautiful, intelligent, vivacious and witty Kam.