Sarah Nigbor

Sometimes I fear readers will become sick of reading about my not so exciting, work- and chore-filled life or the next episode in what seems like a medical soap opera like “General Hospital.” So this week we are going to mix it up a bit. Because I am a fan of random thoughts, here are some of my random questions/complaints on various occurrences and things. Feel free to share your own with me. And I promise I’m not a curmudgeon, though I might seem like one after reading this.

Why do men have to fall asleep in their recliner and snore in front of the TV, making it impossible for anyone else to hear it? I wish my husband would stop being stubborn and would just go take a nap in the bedroom far away from me. I hate the sound of snoring and it drives me up a wall until I want to rip my hair out and scream. I don’t know why, but it does. That and people who chew with their mouths open. Gross.

Why does the dog wait for me to get home to take him out to do his No. 2 business? He could be home with the entire family, but I am the one he comes to when that time comes. Even if I’ve been gone for hours and they’re home, the minute I walk in the door he’s whining and pawing at the back door for me to take him out. Same with the cat wanting his treats. I guess they’re conditioned.

Why when people set an alarm can they not just get up to it and shut the damn thing off? What is the point of hitting snooze 10 times to get a few more minutes of crappy sleep only to be left to rush around like a fool because you made yourself late? I will never understand it. Ugh.

Why do people ask servers for recommendations on the menu? I hated giving recommendations because something I find delicious they might find disgusting, or too spicy, or too bland. Just read the menu and pick what you think you would like. And never say, “Surprise me.”

Why do people ask you to pick a restaurant to go to and then when you tell them your pick, they want something else? If you knew you wanted Chinese, then just say “I want Chinese” instead of “Oh, you decide.” Passive aggressive much?

Why do people immediately get on the horn or computer to blast me about something not getting in the paper when it’s actually in the paper, they just missed seeing it? Do you know how many times that has happened? I admit, I take special delight in pointing out that it’s on such and such a page. And why are people so quick to blame and point fingers? We are human, after all.

Why whenever I’m in a huge hurry to get somewhere do I get behind a Minnesota driver going super slow? That is way more common than getting behind a tractor, at least for me. Why are they all over here? What are they doing? And why are they in my way? Aren’t there things to do in their own state? Yes, I’m sure visitors are good for tourism, but for the love of God, please go faster than 40 mph on a highway.

Why does packaging on certain food items have to be so darned difficult to open? They claim there’s a perforated tear spot to make it easier, but I think they’re lying. Instead, I need to find a knife and slice it open or I risk straining to tear it and the bag exploding all over the place. My husband calls me “The Badger” because of my ineptness at opening packages. I blame the perforator machine operator.

Why whenever I make a giant dinner are the kids not hungry, but if I make “just enough,” they develop hollow legs and act like they haven’t eaten in weeks? Is this a requirement of teenhood? And why oh why do they have to freak out and have something washed at 11 p.m. for the next day? They couldn’t take it out of their stinky locker like four days ago and ask? No, it has to be NOW.

Let’s end on a positive note. I’m beginning to sound like a grump. Readers coming up to me in public to share how much they like my column really makes my day. And it always seems to happen at a time when I need a pick-me-up the most. I feel like I have friends all over the county!