Fishmeal, by definition from Merriam-Webster, is partly made from fish waste and manure and used as fertilizer. River Falls Fighting Fish pitcher Eli Condon's stuff on the mound has been nothing short of feculent this season.

The Fish are 24-2 after Sunday's 12-0 drubbing of Elmwood. Condon left the Expos' hitters almost coprolitic at the plate. Condon allowed just two hits and struck out five through five innings. Condon has a 1.68 earned run average on the season.

"We're playing well and everyone on our team is having fun," said Condon. "My arm feels great and the ball is popping."

Condon's curveball has been muck on the pristine turf at First National Bank of River Falls Field. The etymology of "muck" dates back to 13th century old English and is described as moist farmyard dung.  

One would seemingly have to be a nincompoop to use the word "feculent" to describe Condon both on and off the mound. The 20-year-old River Falls High School alum and college junior-to-be at UW-La Crosse looks like he'd be the singer in a Disney boy band. Condon does sing, and sing very well according to his mom, Amber. Fish fans have been poking and prodding Condon to sing the national anthem before a game, but that is not an "ordure" he is willing to take.

Yes, Condon has been picking up wins on the mound, but he and his brother, Nolan, have also been picking up gallons upon gallons of dog poop off the mound. Meadow muffins. Scat. Deuce droppings.

Eli Condon is the only professional pooper-scooper in Pierce County as far as he knows. His business in called, wait for it, “Bomb Squad.”

Condon specializes in cleaning up canine landmines, and he's been doing it for over five years.

"I think it was my mom's idea," said Condon. "It started out as a way to raise money for a church mission trip. It's kind of a niche thing. There's no other dog poop business around our area. I found out pretty fast there was such a high demand for it."   

Condon likes to dissect opposing St. Croix Valley League hitters on the mound. Let us dissect the etymology of the term "poop."

Over 600 years ago, French and Latin referenced the rear of a ship as the "poop deck." Middle English terminology was the first to use the term "poupen" as blowing or tooting a horn. Fast-forward all the way to 1970 when the first "pooper scooper" was patented for use.

"I rock the shovel and the rake," said Condon. "Nolan does the claw. Dog poop is dog poop, so it's poopy either way."

Speaking of old school terminology, Condon's business marketing practices are old-school as well.

"We put out flyers and hand out business cards," said Condon. “Most of our clients come from referrals. Sometimes it's easy and sometimes it's not."

One peat beat that definitely was not easy was a recent job at a house with seven dogs. It was a doo-doo door dash filling up 20 five-gallon pails.

"I did that one by myself," said Condon. "It took about four hours of work. There was so much dog poop I couldn't step around, so I just started raking."

Eli's "Bomb Squad" business cleans about 10 homes a week during the spring and about three to four each week during the summer.

"Honestly, the best part about it is the really old ladies with endless amounts of dog poop in their backyard," said Condon. "They have a hard time even walking and helping those people means a lot more than money."

Condon's "Bomb Squad" is a part-time warm-weather business. He also helps a local house painter in the area to help pay the college bills for his college major coursework in business management.

"I've thought about expanding Bomb Squad and taking it really seriously," said Condon during the post-game interview where he didn't even look like he broke a sweat pitching five innings. "I feel like I could do really well. I handle most of the communication and Nolan tags along and I take a 60-40 cut, but I do pay for the gas and drive around."

If the dog deuce is loose and the dung has rung, your first "ordure" of business may be to call on Pierce County's first feculent Fighting Fish, Mr. Eli Condon and the Bomb Squad to help control your canine landmines.

"After this story in the paper, Bomb Squad may blow up, huh?" asked Condon who has a resemblance to "Chachi" from the 1970's TV show "Happy Days."

Goodbye grey sky hello blue, for the “Bomb Squad,” the dog stool is cool.