To: Harold Wood, my father, Somewhere Up There (I hope) From: His son Dave Regarding: Civility Dear Dad: I know you never gave a hoot about our family tree, but I was reading a book by a distant ancestor named Pease and I thought of you. The distant relative was a guy named Zephanaia W. Pease, and he reported in his 1918 book, “A History of New Bedford,” the following, in which a whaling mate said to his captain: “All I want of you is a little civility, and that of the commonest and goddamnedest kind.”

And why did that make me think of you, my dear father, long gone these several years? Because whenever I miss you, I take out the little book you wrote about your life here on earth before you passed on to the next. On last reading, I remember your booklet’s conclusion about civility. I’m certain you remember the following final remarks: “I’m reminded that this is election year again (1992). I am not looking forward to all the mudslinging and negative campaigning that will be on the air and in the newspapers. I believe in this great country of ours that there should be candidates with enough education and intelligence to talk positively instead of being negative most of the time. To my mind, a democracy is the best form of government, but it has its problems. With the two-party system, there is so much jealousy between the two parties that even if one of them brought a very good plan or idea, the other party would either vote against it or veto it. With one party in the white house and the other in power in congress, it is almost impossible to get any good bill passed.

“I am not blaming one party or the other, as I think they are both to blame. The present campaign seems to be only a vote-getting operation and not a problem-solving one. I must admit that I have never had any desire to get involved [with politics]. I was once offered a seat on our city council. I thanked them but declined. I said I was too busy keeping my business going. I probably wanted to be able to criticize what they were doing instead of being criticized for what I was doing! I know this is a bad attitude to take, since someone has to do the job. And it is a good thing that there are people who will do it.”

Dad, that was two paragraphs written with great goddamned civility! I guess when we were arguing in the old days, when I was in my teens and a rabid Democrat and you were an unreconstructed LaFollette liberal Republican who seldom voted after Robert LaFollette Jr. passed on to the Big Filibuster in the Sky, we didn’t often agree, except for the year when you voted for Jimmy Carter “because,” you’ll recall, “he was a farmer.”

You’ve probably gathered from your perch wherever it is that civility hasn’t improved since your departure. And I’m not just whistling Dixie. You always got a charge out of farmers who had signs advertising Mail Pouch chewing tobacco or “Bowe’s Seal Safe” seal tire patch repairs, saying, along with former Sen. Gene McCarthy, that “that farmer is probably facing bankruptcy.”

Well, I saw another barn sign last week that, of course, reminded me of you. Just outside of Beldenville, I spied a big blue barn with a big white sign asking GOD to “BLESS AMERICA.”

About four yards away, in the farm’s yard stood two high flagpoles, one flying the Stars and Stripes, the other imploring travelers to do something unspeakable to our current president. I can’t say what because I never heard you say that oafish word, Mr. Civility.

See you soon, but not too soon, I hope. Dave