FROM THE Editor’s Desk

BY SARAH NIGBOR

I’m trying to accept that my children are growing up in a technology-filled world, that it’s a different atmosphere than my generation experienced in the 80s and 90s. Our parents never had to worry about too much “screen time,” social media, that we would access inappropriate information at the touch of a keyboard, or that we would be targeted online by predators or bullies.

I’ve gotten to the point where I absolutely hate cell phones for multiple reasons.

Yes, they are convenient and have their good points. But do they ever cause huge amounts of frustration in my household. For one thing, I hate being expected to be available to others 24 hours a day. I do not have my cell glued to me constantly and will not do so. I check it often, but after a certain time, the phone goes off. Real life is happening. Our three stepsons are absolutely addicted to their phones and I’m not exaggerating. It’s tough for us to monitor them all the time because we have split custody with their mom.

They have no restrictions or time limits at her house, so they are used to being on their phones or gaming laptops for hours at a time.

When they come to our house, it’s tough for them to adhere to our two-hour per day screen time rule and they give us a run for our money.

They literally act like they will suffocate and die without their phones. Taking their phones away is the utmost form of horrific punishment, causing whining, bargaining, sullenness and/or consternation. When they don’t have a phone in their hands and they’re not participating in school sports or activities, they literally don’t know what to do with themselves. Today (Labor Day), I cut off the 13-year-old and the 15-year-old and they sat in their chairs staring blankly straight ahead.

They literally have a hard time figuring out anything else to do and all of our suggestions (read a book, take a walk, explore in the woods, play basketball) are met with blank stares or excuses why they can’t do those things. I told the 13-year-old to go outside to play, and his idea of playing was curling up on a patio chair and staring at the corn.

When they aren’t allowed to have their phones in the car (which I rarely let them), you would think I cut off their right hands. The idea that they might have to look out the window at the passing scenery or (gasp!) have a conversation is just mind-boggling to them. On our vacation this summer, we declared it a “no phone vacation,” except for phone calls and texts to their other parents.

This did not go over well, especially with the 11-year-old. We finally had to take his phone away and hide it because he kept sneaking off to go on it.

I find all of this incredibly sad. I know most kids are great, wonderful kids (but of course we always think our generation is the best). But I am so dismayed when we have to battle over their phone use; I’m even more sad when it’s apparent that coming up with ways to entertain themselves without a phone is impossible for them. I know not every kid is an avid reader, though we’ve tried to encourage reading. It’s also incredibly sad that they can barely get from Point A to Point B because they’re always staring at a phone in a car. When I asked them how to get to their mom’s house from ours, none of them had a clue. Half the time, they don’t even know how to identify which town we are in.

We’ll keep trying to limit the phone time and to encourage them to experience real life. But this generation, I’m afraid for them.

Sometimes being bored as a kid was when I came up with my best ideas.