FROM THE

Editor’s Desk

2022 has so far been a dark time for our family. There are days when I just want to stay in bed, huddle in the warm blankets and block out the world by reading a good book. But the world goes on and there are things to be done, so that’s not usually an option. I must keep on trucking. I know better days are ahead. I wish they would get here sooner rather than later, though. As a mother, I feel it’s my job to be strong for everyone else and keep things going, no matter what. But my Energizer Bunny tendencies are waning and the battery depleted light is blinking.

Last week our family spent many hours with my grandmother as she was in hospice at Spring Valley Health Care Center. She was in there a short six days before she died on Monday, April 11. On Day 3 I sat in her room holding her hand while she drifted in and out of sleep, just staring at the snowflakes swirling outside her window. Even though she was 96 and lived a good, long life, that doesn’t make it easier to say goodbye to someone who has been there for you your entire life.

On Sunday night, I stayed with her a long time after everyone else had left. I just knew down in my bones that I wasn’t going to see her alive again once I left that night. By that point she was unresponsive and in a medication- induced constant sleep. I spoke to her as if she could hear me, because I think she could. I wept that night as I left, feeling so helpless and sad. I tried hard to not let the tears spill when everyone else was around, because I wanted to be strong for them. But when I was alone, it was a floodgate opening. This year we’ve said goodbye to my grandma, my husband’s grandpa, my mother’s best friend and many others. I’ve been battling a terrible sinus condition since December and it looks like surgery is in my future if I want to breathe properly again. My mom has been battling her own health demons for four years now, and it has been a never-ending string of doctor appointments to go to. We’re finally turning a corner there, but it’s been a long-haul. Gosh, can I get any more depressing? Pity party on Aisle 1, right?

Well, yes and no. It has been an undeniably tough year so far and I am tired of gloom, but there have been many things to be grateful for as well. My children are thriving and healthy, and even if running seven days a week to activities gets wearing, it means they are exploring opportunities and doing things they love. My job doesn’t feel like a job because I love it so much. My taxes are done and it wasn’t too painful. The sun was shining today after what seems an eternity of gray. A cup of hot coffee is always to be celebrated, each and every day. I have wonderful friends who care about me. I have readers who come up to me when I’m out and about with a kind word or comment. I have much for which to be grateful.

Better days are coming. The sun will shine and the snow will cease. Flowers will bloom and winter’s gray will fade. And my loved ones who have gone before me will forever live in my heart. I told my grandma to have a cup of coffee waiting for me when I get up there, though it might not be for a while.

BY SARAH NIGBOR