“The Twelve Days of Christmas” is an old English carol. The exact origins and the meaning of the song are relatively unknown. We do know the 12 days referenced are said to start with Christmas Day and end on Jan. 5, the epiphany. The best known version of the song was first printed in Mirth without Mischief, a children's book published in London around 1780. The work was heavily illustrated with woodcuts, attributed in one source to Thomas Bewick, and has been viewed by many as the classic Christmas counting song. 

The following version is different, much different. It includes holiday visions, but not those of dancing sugar plums. It is a Christmas wish list containing dreams and hopes of what might be, but likely never will be. Although looking at athletics and other outdoor activities through the lens of Norman Rockwell is pollyannaish, it does no harm to dream. Here goes. 

On the first day of Christmas the WIAA gave to me: A return to public and private school tournaments. Years ago there was the WIAA (Wisconsin Interscholastic Athletic Association) for public schools and WISAA (Wisconsin Independent School Athletic Association) for private schools. Each had their own state tournaments in football, basketball, and other competitive sports. Today, all schools play under the banner of the WIAA. Whether it be the controversial competitive balance equation, the false enrollment equivalency argument, or the advent of private school vouchers, a return to private and public school tournaments would lessen debate. 

On the second day of Christmas the WIAA gave to me: Unsportsmanlike conduct or a technical foul with real consequences. In football how about the opposing team is awarded three points, the ball at the 50-yard line, and the offending coach loses a timeout. In basketball the opposing team gets two points, a two-shot foul, the ball out of bounds, and the head coach loses a timeout. In baseball or softball, the opposing team is awarded two runs, and a runner from the opposing team is put on second base. Perhaps this will once and for all improve the behavior of coaches. 

On the third day of Christmas the Wisconsin DNR gave to me: A return to the traditional deer bow season and nine-day gun season. Save for disabled hunters, eliminate all other deer hunting seasons including youth hunt, holiday hunt, antlerless hunt, muzzleloader hunt, atlatl hunt, throwing star hunt, or whatever other deer hunt there is today in Wisconsin.

On the fourth day of Christmas the WIAA gave to me: The creation of designated basketball “Griping/Complaining Box.” The WIAA advisory board would work with school athletic directors and head coaches of each sport and identify fans who most likely will complain or “gripe” during games. Those designated as “Gripers” would be required to wear velcro lime green arm bands and sit in a neutral designated area identified by the school athletic director. In the “Gripe Zone” alone the identified spectators would be able to engage in their incessant spectator editorializing. During games technicals or unsportsmanlike commentary could be called on the box. It would be counted as a team foul during basketball with the opposing team being awarded two points and the ball. Traveling “Gripers” would be issued pink velcro armbands and also have their own designated box on the opposite side of the gym. At the midway point of the season “Griper” lists would be re-evaluated by athletic directors and coaches.

On the fifth day of Christmas the WIAA gave to me: A change in the  three point line. Move it back to 22 or 23 feet. Kids are emulating NBA players today with their pre-game, during game, and post-game celebrations, so why not have today’s prep players emulate their ESPN idols when it comes to shooting from beyond the arc? Moving the line will bring back the importance of the 12-15 foot jump shot, which literally many coaches today call the worst shot in basketball.  

On the sixth day of Christmas the NCAA gave to me: The elimination of the transfer portal. The mid-level Division 1 programs are being decimated by a system that allows the football and basketball talent rich teams to become richer and richer. The can of worms opened by this putrid, horrid system coupled with NIL financial rewards has made athletic competition at the NCAA Division I level more and more like a professional sports audition. Very, very sad. 

On the seventh day of Christmas, community members gave to me: Nominations to the Prescott Hall of Fame. There are many deserving people with ties to Prescott that should be considered for induction into the Hall of Fame. The committee is calling for additional nominations. The rigorous process (it should be) takes a considerable amount of time and effort, but there are people out there who deserve consideration for such an honor. Nominate someone for induction in 2025.

On the eighth day of Christmas the WIAA gave to me: Require fans who incessantly berate referees during games to officiate youth sports competitions. Once an offending fan has completed officiating four to eight youth basketball games, two youth football games, or four to eight baseball or softball games they can return as spectators. Duration of the penalty will be determined by the nature of the offense. Some states are actually doing this. Bravo. 

On the ninth day of Christmas the WIAA gave to me: A change in the pitch count for high school at tournament time. Due to past behavior of some misguided coaches who put winning above the health of their players, the WIAA deemed it necessary to create a baseball pitch count rule for high school hurlers requiring time off for players who have thrown a certain number of pitches. Once the tournament series begins the maximum number of pitchers thrown should be increased from 100 to 115. High school pitchers have been toeing the mound since March and adding 15 pitches at the end of the season makes sense. Our neighbors across the river do this, it’s time the Dairyland State follows suit.

On the 10th day of Christmas the WIAA gave to me: An end to the sportsmanship emphasis in all WIAA rule books. There is no reason for officials to share with coaches and players before each game about how the WIAA is putting an “emphasis on sportsmanship” THIS year. The constant annual verbal reminder is nothing more than a “paper tiger” as players, coaches, and fans alike continue to behave in ways both unacceptable and inappropriate without retribution. See day #4. 

On the 11th day of Christmas high school athletics gave to me: A return of the small school, three-sport athlete in high school and the elimination of AAU and club sports. Let’s return to the halcyon days of high school sports when the teams you played on were with the same kids you sat next to math class, ate lunch with in the school cafeteria, and shared the same zip code. That will never happen. In fact you’d have a better chance of getting a clear photograph of Bigfoot.

On the 12th day I wish a happy and healthy holiday season to all of you, your families, and everyone close to you.