Sarah Nigbor

Some people in the River Falls School District have questioned the wisdom of spending money on leasing a new building for the Renaissance Charter Academy. They say it was done in secret, though it was not. I reported on the August 2022 public electors meeting in which school district residents voted to continue the REN program and invest in a school building for it. It was the same night as the school district’s annual meeting, in which only a handful of residents bothered to attend out of the thousands who live in the district.

I am not writing this column to make anyone angry. I want to tell you about my high school experience. I graduated from River Falls High School in 1998 and getting to that point was not easy for me. I wish the REN had been around when I was in school, because maybe I would have had a better experience. But it opened the year after I left.

Telling you all this is not easy for me, but it’s freeing. My hope is that it will help people see that sometimes kids need a little extra help and care.

I was teased mercilessly in middle and early high school. Kids can be so cruel. We didn’t have much money, so I didn’t have designer name-brand clothes. I was overweight throughout middle school and dreaded the teasing and taunts from my classmates. They also made fun of me for having super thick hair (which I like having now). I was shy to begin with, but that just shoved me further into my shell. I wanted so badly to be invisible. I didn’t join sports or clubs because, why would I want to be teased more outside of school hours, I thought. I finally had enough in eighth grade and starved myself and worked out constantly, so I lost 50 pounds. I wish I could go back and hug my 13-year-old self and tell her she was perfect the way she was. Not that working out and eating healthy is bad, but I took it to an extreme. Even at 127 pounds in high school I was convinced I was too fat. I look at pictures from that time now and wonder how I could have thought that.

Even in elementary school I was teased for not having a dad. Never mind that he died when I was 2; kids thought it was so weird that I didn’t have a dad and lived with my mom and grandparents. My two best friends were considered nerds too, and they didn’t fare much better. In middle school I missed a lot of school because I didn’t want to go. I would cry and cry because I was too scared to endure another day of teasing. I had such anxiety, but I didn’t know what that was back then.

In high school I missed almost two months of school my junior year when I had a severe case of mono. I couldn’t stay awake in class, I couldn’t eat, and my doctor ordered me to stay home. I kept up with my classes and still earned straight As, so imagine how heartbroken I was when one teacher told me that I would never amount to anything because if I couldn’t even manage to go to school, how would I ever succeed at anything? He told me it was because I came from a single-parent home and must be running wild without supervision. I vowed then and there to prove him wrong. I don’t believe his comments would fly in today’s society, but they went unaddressed back then. Two administrators hauled me into their offices frequently, accusing me of skipping school and threatening to expel me, even though I had a doctor’s excuse. It was such a stressful time and I wasn’t even one of the kids who smoked, drank or did anything remotely troublesome.

I had many wonderful teachers at RFHS. I am so grateful to them because they helped me believe in myself. I wouldn’t have made it without them. Yet there were still days where I felt lost, alone and didn’t know what to do. There wasn’t an emphasis back then on mental health. All I knew was I didn’t fit in and I couldn’t wait to graduate. The day that I walked out of those halls for the last time was one of the happiest of my life, sad to say. I went on to graduate from UW-River Falls Summa Cum Laude with a double major in French and Spanish with a journalism minor in 3.5 years. I often wonder if that teacher who told me I would be nothing ever knew that.

My point in sharing all of this is not to get sympathy. I am not having a pity party. I have had an amazing life filled with challenges and joy. I’ve even broken out of my shell. But please realize that all children are worth investing in, even if they don’t fit the mold of “normal.” I wish the REN had been available to me and I am glad it is for students now.